Kimkins Controversy - Kimkins Scam

Becky Gives Us Some More Info About the Kimkins “Empire”

Becky is opening up more and more. All the good stuff is in the comments section of her blog:

I do understand the anxiety and desire for truth. I have been in that place for quite a while, and still am. I agree that you, I, and all the other members and ex-members deserve it, and deserved it long ago.

Unfortunately, the one person who has all the facts isn’t talking, and has repeatedly and flatly refused to do so. In the fullest sense, it is she who owes us these answers. It is unconscionable to me that she continues to let her members and her ’staff’ twist in the wind while she shields herself in secrecy.

What people do not realize is that the site runs very nearly as a one-person business operation, with the flow of ‘information’ carefully controlled. Admins are such in title only, and have no decision-making authority. (And the “Meet Your Team” page means virtually nothing. I could say more here.) I and the other ’staff’ who left (or who remain, for that matter) have no deep insight into the inner workings, no shared core of secrets. All we really have are our own impressions and opinions and interpretations of little things said and done here and there.

As to the situation precipitating our exit, there is no huge revelation — just a great deal of legitimate concerns and questions receiving extremely unsatisfactory and downright disturbing responses and non-responses.

I have long privately ‘pushed the envelope’ there, trying in small but steady ways to moderate the more extreme views, to move the diet in a healthier direction, to provide actual care to the members, etc. As has been said, I did not see eye-to-eye on the diet or on how things were being handled, and we had numerous disagreements. I imagine I was a vexating annoyance, but a very useful one, so I was tolerated — until I broke the unspoken rules. I broke the code of silence and intimidation.

I sent an email calling for open discussion of the controversies at hand, and copied it to all the other admins. (First time we all talked together, btw. Prior to this, in my opinion and experience, the MO there was to isolate, manipulate, and control us, by pitting one against the other.) A long string of about 30 or so PMs/emails flew among us, and once it got rolling we admins (cautiously) expressed our views, and (timidly) asked our honest questions, couched in diplomatic ways. We pressed for changes in the plans and practices of the site. The resulting responses were alarming, to say the least.

I do not know the ethics or legalities of posting excerpts of those sorts of communication. I also know that everything said hedged in such a way that it ‘could’ be interpreted some other way by someone predetermined to see things a certain way. All I know is that all of the admins went into the conversation highly motivated to find solutions, and almost all of us came out deeply troubled, not knowing whom to trust or where to turn. In our own ways, most of us began making our plans to ‘escape’.

I am caught here between a rock and a hard place. Whatever I say will be ’spun’ by both ’sides’ and used against me and the others.
I do not know what I can say, legally, without being threatened with libel and made a scapegoat by one side, while being threatened with civil suits and criminal charges by my ‘rescuers’. I may already have said too much. I feel like I am walking a tightrope without a net.

I believe I can post some of my own questions and points from the emails we all exchanged. You will see my concerns with the plans as written and as practiced there, and the adjustments I recommend.

As for the other, I can only ask, why should being on a diet support site end up feeling like keeping secrets in a dysfunctional, abusive family?

How is that healthy?

To me, leaving felt like it what I imagine it must feel like when someone escapes an abusive relationship.

I loved and still love the people there, though I know they will need to be subtly turned against me now. I understand that. No hard feelings.

I tried to ‘run interference’, but in staying too long to make positive improvements, I inadvertently aided what i believe to be practices I can in no way condone.

I am really sorry.

I completely agree we need truth!

One reason why those who were leaders might be hesitant to speak (besides being dazed and hurting and wanting to run away) is a matter of libel. For instance, if a blogger were to write that someone was perpetrating fraud, and it was not proven, then that blogger might be charged with libel. That might be one reason why some might not wish to speak.

Then, there is the whole issue of facing a situation so unbelievably bizarre, that either the facts or crazy or we are. It is easy to doubt your doubts in that case.

I wish I had more facts and hard evidence, really I do. I do think some facts are out there, if people will be objective, though I see what looks like jumping to conclusions on both sides. Still, if an individual will not be forthcoming with basic, simple, easily-verifiable information, then speculation and investigation is all that is left.

I have my recollections and experiences, and a few little bits and pieces of communication saved here and there, and reliable reports from others of their own communications and experiences - and a sick feeling in the pit of my gut.

What did I or any of the leaders witness as an eyewitness? Well, nothing through personal visual contact. Ever. Despite opportunities and invitations for personal meetings and web-cam conferences.

What do I believe? That either dozens of good people with nothing to gain are conspiring to lie —- or that one person with a lot to lose is.

I think there are enough reliable individuals who can give testimony concerning that.

I am convinced to my own satisfaction that things are seriously very, very wrong. Seriously very wrong, on many levels. I am convinced enough to have taken painful, personally costly action.

I have told every Admin and potential Admin who has asked me to do the same

I would tell any member who asks the same thing.

However, I know that many might feel they have reasons to stay, mostly to be with friends and to keep losing weight. I do understand, and I do not judge that. I also understand that we all have to cover the gap from Point A to Point B at our own pace and timing. We’re different in how we deal with things.

But, that something that ought to be a simple non-issue is even this big a deal at all is weird enough, really, to tell you the answer.

I understand the desire for privacy. That is normal —- to an extent.

But, I also understand the need for personal disclosure and connection in human relationships. Most of us have a basic understanding of natural affection and loyalty.

So, when I see a situation in which someone is believed and trusted least by those who ought to know and trust them best - well, it does not speak well of the trustworthiness of that person.

When a person leaves behind a long series of damaged and discarded relationships - well, it does not speak well of that person.

When someone is not only willing but skillful at protecting themselves while exposing those around them to harm - well, that is just plain wrong!

I wish I knew how to be more helpful. It stinks all around. I stayed for the sake of members who either blame me for staying or blame me for leaving, or for speaking up or not speaking up.

I say what I say for your benefit. If I don’t say more, it is because I don’t know yet know how or what.

Just realize - whatever plan you choose to follow can be followed elsewhere, too. It is the member support, not the URL, that make it work.